The greatest gift of Christmas

First I would like to wish those who celebrate Christmas a Merry Christmas!!! If you don't then I hope you had a good week and didn't catch thus nasty flu death bug that is going around. I on the other hand did lol. I am writing to you from a DayQuil induced coma which is better then the NyQuil induced coma I was in Christmas night. I have lived off of NyQuil/Dayquil,, Tylenol, cough drops, throat spray, ginger ale, pudding and an insane amount of Kleenex after the hospital told me I had the killer "Captain Trips" flu Christmas night., I am finally functional after drugging myself and sleeping for 19 hours so if your sick that's my recommendation lol.

Ok Christmas.... This year has been very tough on money so Santa delivered the lost presents that fell out in his sleigh to my house leaving the tree somewhat bare. However my favorite gift that I am so thankful for this Christmas was taking my little minions to Christmas Eve Mass and Applebee's where they left a napkin covered in "Merry Christmas" and our families names for our waiter. He was very attentive and friendly despite having to work on Christmas Eve. He made sure my kids were happy and their chocolate milk never ran out but most of all he kept a huge friendly smile on his face which we all returned. After dinner we went home and curled up under a blanket and watched All Dogs Go To Heaven before I tucked my most cherished pieces of my life into bed to wait for Santa. Of course during the night Santa ate his cookies and forced down almost 16 ounces of milk before leaving presents under the tree that the cats immediately went to investigate. This was followed by some sleep then little footsteps and voices coming up the stairs at 730 in the morning. I only got upset at the hour for about two, seconds before my Christmas spirit which had been lacking all season kick in and I realized how absolutely grateful and lucky I was to hear that sound. My beautiful children came up to me and told me Santa had come!!! After holding down the poor cat for a few minutes and jumping on the dog they decided it was time to open their gifts. Now daddy didn't get much sleep the night before but the kids were good sports and waited about an hour for daddy to actually get out of bed and go buy everyone coffee and orange juice. My minions each got one "big gift" and a few small gifts. My daughter who's eight, got her very own Kindle (the original eBook reader) because she loves to read and has recently started reading the Harry Potter books. She was ecstatic and had read two books after we got her all registered and set up. My son who is four got a VSmile with six games but my daughter liked it more. Why? Because he got LEGOS!!!!!! Sadly my son know he got Legos just by picking up the wrapped tub. He is just like me lol. He got a Lego airplane last year so we got him a huge tub with like five different projects in it including a space rover this year. He barely made it through unwrapping the rest of his gifts because he just wanted to build cars with his Legos lol. After family play time we went out to fulfill my husbands Jewish Christmas tradition of Chinese food. The little man just wanted five gallons of ice cream and my daughter octopus ::gag:: which turned into real food and tons of desert after for everyone but me. I ate chocolate pudding, I'm sick remember! Don't judge me lol.

This brings my Christmas holiday to a close. I'm not grateful for the gifts or the food, yes they were nice but that's not what the holiday is about, for me at least. I enjoyed my family. They are the greatest gift god could give me this Christmas season.
(I could have done without the flu however)

I hope you had a wonderful holiday and that it continues into the new year!

This is harder then I thought

When I started this blog I thought it would be fun and invigorating. I have always loved to write so this naturally seemed like an awesome adventure. Unfortunately my first and last blog was over 7 months ago and I do not find this as easy as I thought it would be. This has been a very difficult year and I am often in a war over what I should and should not share. I've never been one to censor myself and for the most part I do as I please and screw you if you don't like it. I'm not here to please others or beg them to like me or approve of my actions. I am a 26 year old woman who is fully capable of making her own adult decisions. However this troubling year has forced me into admitting a crime from my childhood that I've avoided for years only to be blamed for admitting it. This childhood crime has come back to haunt me in the worst way possible. It's hard to admit your a "victim" but even harder to admit your lack of voice created more victims. Every time you pick up a newspaper or turn on your television you are a peeping tom into the private lives of normal people that have found themselves in the most horrendous life altering situations. You take pity on them and hope they work through this hard time they are facing or are already knee deep in and often times you find yourself thinking of things you would do to these horrid offenders that thoughtlessly wreck a strangers life. However when the story ends those strangers are often forgotten and you go about your life thinking these things won't happen to you. These thoughts are our worlds downfalls because when they do happen we often don't believe it or are to shocked to take appropriate steps. This is where I found myself at the beginning of the year. I had all but forgotten this childhood crime that only the offender and myself knew about until it snaked itself back into the center of my life. I often blame myself for allowing this person to violently rip away another's innocence, especially an individual who's innocence I hold so close. In my silence I have changed so many lives and not for the better and before you go calling me a whinny self centered attention seeker hear me out. I am not telling you this because I want pity or attention I am just finally allowing my feelings to come out in a "healing" way somewhere outside a small room occupied by a counselor.

I am certain this is a frustrating unfinished blog but it has been sitting in my to be posted box for a few days now so obviously I'm not going to expand on this more at the current moment so I may as well post it so I can move onto another post.