This is harder then I thought

When I started this blog I thought it would be fun and invigorating. I have always loved to write so this naturally seemed like an awesome adventure. Unfortunately my first and last blog was over 7 months ago and I do not find this as easy as I thought it would be. This has been a very difficult year and I am often in a war over what I should and should not share. I've never been one to censor myself and for the most part I do as I please and screw you if you don't like it. I'm not here to please others or beg them to like me or approve of my actions. I am a 26 year old woman who is fully capable of making her own adult decisions. However this troubling year has forced me into admitting a crime from my childhood that I've avoided for years only to be blamed for admitting it. This childhood crime has come back to haunt me in the worst way possible. It's hard to admit your a "victim" but even harder to admit your lack of voice created more victims. Every time you pick up a newspaper or turn on your television you are a peeping tom into the private lives of normal people that have found themselves in the most horrendous life altering situations. You take pity on them and hope they work through this hard time they are facing or are already knee deep in and often times you find yourself thinking of things you would do to these horrid offenders that thoughtlessly wreck a strangers life. However when the story ends those strangers are often forgotten and you go about your life thinking these things won't happen to you. These thoughts are our worlds downfalls because when they do happen we often don't believe it or are to shocked to take appropriate steps. This is where I found myself at the beginning of the year. I had all but forgotten this childhood crime that only the offender and myself knew about until it snaked itself back into the center of my life. I often blame myself for allowing this person to violently rip away another's innocence, especially an individual who's innocence I hold so close. In my silence I have changed so many lives and not for the better and before you go calling me a whinny self centered attention seeker hear me out. I am not telling you this because I want pity or attention I am just finally allowing my feelings to come out in a "healing" way somewhere outside a small room occupied by a counselor.

I am certain this is a frustrating unfinished blog but it has been sitting in my to be posted box for a few days now so obviously I'm not going to expand on this more at the current moment so I may as well post it so I can move onto another post.